There is no doubt in my mind that the decision to lose weight was a half ass attempt at making me feel better about myself, at least initially. The fact that I had spent half my life trying to lose weight employing crude methods like yo-yo dieting and single food meal plans, in order to escape any form of exercise, has greatly contributed to my failure in the past. There is also no doubt in my mind that had I been encouraged to accept my body the way it is and love myself the way I am I would not have wanted to lose weight. It didn't help that I lived in a culture that equated beauty with small waists and light frames. It's a fact - I was teased all throughout elementary and junior high. I was the last one picked for a team during gym class. I was the frumpy girl who sat quietly in the back and tried hard not to attract attention to myself. Nevertheless, I desperately wanted to fit in and so was constantly looking for quick fixes that would allow me to be with the "in crowd". Little did I know that weight is only part of it and that had I worked smarter not harder I would have found other ways to fit in.

Things changed for me in high school though. I smartened up, literally. I spent my last two years in high school still very much overweight (and hating myself because of it) but I compensated by earning high marks. In those last two years my grades were so high that I ended up in the Honour Society of our school, a level distinguishing those with a GPA of 4.0 and higher. Naturally, I created friends. Classmates liked me. I was no longer the last one picked or the quiet, shy girl. Instead, I became more outgoing and confident. It didn't really matter that the majority of my friends liked me because I helped them out with their class papers or that I let them cheat off me during a test. I excelled at making myself the highest grade in the class. I would even do the extra credit just for shits and giggles. I recall one particular subject whose teacher was a very grumpy, miserable young man from Arkansas. He hated teaching, hated students and hated that everyone made fun of his accent. He deliberately made his tests difficult. He made it his life's mission to fail at least half the class on every test. Except me. Granted, he would reluctantly give me an A- (and in his class it was closer to a miracle), but it was higher, way higher than everyone else's grades. On one ill fated afternoon, he read the test marks out loud like he usually does after grading them. Given that everyone in the class was below 60%, it was no surprise that the entire classroom burst out laughing when he called my mark: 103%. I had a few minutes left during the test and answered the extra credit questions as well. From that moment on, classmates no longer referred to me by my given name. Instead, I was called 103. The whole thing was really very endearing but what stood out in my mind at the time was that size isn't everything (no, get your mind out of the gutter). I think if I had worked hard on losing weight, as hard as I did to earn those grades, that I would have been slimmer by the time summer rolled around.

University was a different experience than high school. For one, I was out of my comfort zone. On top of that, I had lost all my friends. They all went to different places. I was once again by myself, relying on nothing but my appearance to get me by because it's always the first thing people see. That's the way I saw things back then. When I had nothing else, I let my size define me. I let my appearance dictate how I acted. I had few friends. I was miserable. I thought I was huge and unattractive. In reality I was at the small end of the plus size scale. I most likely wore a size 12 or 14 (I still have a couple of jeans left over from that era). In any case, I did the same thing. Worked harder at getting good grades and made different friends. One of my closest friends was a very slim and beautiful girl. I think she hung out with me because she appreciated my dry sense of humour. But I remember one of the most hurtful and devastating blows to my self confidence was a remark (by a very mean & nasty guy) that made it's way to me. He compared me to a stray cat and claimed that I hang out with my friend hoping that some of her "pretty" might rub off and make me less ugly. I pretended to brush it off but it had an impact, a huge one.

Fast forward eight years (and very thick skin, yes, pun intended) later, I had ballooned to a whopping 280 pounds. My weight has always been an issue for me, my family, and friends. Everyone thought I needed to lose weight. My size was a constant factor in my life no matter what I did. It didn't matter what else I was dealing with at the time, my weight remained an issue in the background. At age 24, I was also sporting a size 24 in clothes. The bigger I got the more invisible I tried to be. I felt that if I could just stay quiet, say nothing and do nothing, that I just might be able to blend in the background, become part of the furniture or camouflaged by the hideous wallpaper. During one large family gathering, one family member (who shall remain nameless, bless her heart) complained to my mother about how she'd tried everything with her daughter who keeps fluctuating between a size 8 and 10. She was upset that her daughter was a size Medium, and called her fat. She then smiled at me and turned to ask my mother if they had tried to do anything about my weight. She proceeded to ask if my father had looked into the fact (and she sounded quite certain) that my weight problem could be hormone related and that I would look beautiful if they could do something about it because I had a beautiful face. She was talking to my mother about me, while I was sitting in between them. It's as if I was invisible, literally. It sounds like a scene from a sitcom, doesn't it? I promise I'm not making this shit up. Needless to say, I think she really meant well. She probably did not realize how hurtful and insulting that was (given that I'm a grown woman) but she most likely thought she was helping.

When I think about it, most people who encouraged me to lose weight actually meant well. They were not doing it to be mean. It's concern for my well being that drove them. And out of all those people, I believe my mother cared the most. I think part of her understood how hard it is to go through life as a fat person. Unlike me, she spent most of her adult life fluctuating between a size small and medium. This is precisely why she had a unique perspective. She judged heavy people the same way others do. And although she was not repulsed by me in the usual way that many feel about fat people, she habitually badgered me to lose weight. She loved and cared about me and it is because of this that she knew how hard it would be for me to be happy in a world that appreciates slim women. You would think that the shame that came with being fat should have been enough to get me to lose weight, but the truth of the matter is I just wasn't ready.

I know I'm going on and on about things that might seem disconnected but the point I'm trying to make is this: No one will ever be able to make you lose weight. Weight loss is as much a mental state as it is physical. Only you will be able to make you lose weight. I think people should be accepted for who they are not their size. No one should ever dictate who is fat, or who needs to lose weight but the reality we live in proves otherwise. If you are happy with your weight, whether it's 150 or 250, then do not allow anyone to tell you otherwise. I needed to lose weight because I was unhappy with my size. It's not a gradual thing, at least it wasn't for me. There is a tipping point at which one decides that it's time - time to get serious; time to set a goal; time to commit. I think it takes a series of events to get an unhappy person to that place where there is no where to go but up. I think we are largely responsible for the outcome of most situations. I may not have had much control over what made me fat. For as long as I can remember I've always been on the heavier end of the scale. But I am responsible for making the change and I'm accountable for the outcome, whether positive or negative. It's this mindset that started the whole process for me. If I was being honest with myself, I would admit that what led me to this simple revelation (and also was my tipping point) is a traumatic experience that caused a severe fracture in my pscyhe (a post for another time). The resulting physical, mental and emotional pain created an extreme distrust of my body. I felt betrayed by it. How can something that was working so well do something so horrible? Suddenly, there was a chasm between my mind and my body. Whereas I was mentally content carrying around all 280 pounds of me, I lacked faith in my body to do anything constructive.

I went through a phase where I treated my body as the enemy. It was a situation that was unacceptable to me. I felt like my body was out of control. Like anything in my life that runs amok and requires swift action, (and you know I'm a total control freak, right?) I took over my body. I decided that since I cannot trust it to perform in accordance to my standards then it was time to set it straight, just as you would a misbehaving teenager. But like any well oiled machine, I couldn't expect my body to work efficiently without using the proper tools to maintain it. I first had to empower myself with the tools that would enable my body to perform. I needed to think right, eat right and sleep right (although the sleep part is still a work in progress). For me, that meant searching for the right dietitian, one who understood my relationship with food and my body. That also meant finding a way to become more active. More importantly, it meant I have to admit that everything I have done so far has been a failure and that I NEED HELP. In a nutshell, I had to stop hating myself, forgive myself, and start working with myself to get better, mentally and physically.

I'm going to pause here to emphasize that I am not perfect and by no means am I free of all my demons. I still have issues, lots of them (my husband can write a book about that; in fact, I think he's hunting around for a publisher). However, I've learned that there are coping mechanisms and problem solving skills that make many issues much more manageable, weight being one such issue. Often looking at a problem and classifying it as an inconvenience can simply change things. Sometimes a shift in perspective is all that I need to help me focus. I perceived weight loss as an insurmountable problem and a goal I would never achieve, not in a million years. On the other hand, when compared to other much bigger problems that were out of my control and that I've emerged from intact (more or less), losing weight looks much smaller (pun intended). To break it down further - the pain I feel during exercise, the pain I feel when I don't satisfy my sweet tooth, the pain caused by the fear of failure is inconsequential compared to the tremendous agony I felt following my traumatic experience. I'm not saying that everyone does or should think that way. What I am saying is that this is the road I took and those are the actions that led me to the tipping point, which in turn motivated me to do what I needed to do. It's my experience and mine alone. That doesn't make it right or wrong.

I think the process of losing weight, which includes not only the decision but also the factors and events that led to it, involves a great deal of introspection. I think the act of examining our mental and emotional state reveals the underlying purpose of our actions. Almost like looking into a boundless mirror, it uncovers our fears, desires, strengths and weaknesses. And in turn enables us to understand what we're dealing with. I also think that the act of reflecting on our behaviour demonstrates that on some level, we are aware of any changes within ourself. I think self examination and contemplation help us understand why we do what we do, or don't, and are especially fundamental in determining the causality between deliberate and unintentional actions. It's then that we are able to accurately determine a course of action appropriate to the challenges we face.

And this, in a nutshell, is how I started my weight loss excursion. Mind you, I don't hate myself any more. But I am very critical of it and when shit goes sideways we have a serious talk. I can safely say that I am my own harshest critic. Sometimes my husband tries to compete with me for that title but inevitably I win. That said, I think my husband is one of the very few people who is truly proud of me for losing weight and is very happy for me. He was also the only person in my life that never asked me to lose weight and never judged me for being heavy. And I can't stress enough how important it is to have a partner/friend who can encourage without crossing that line.

I am very proud of myself for working hard to lose weight. It was a big challenge but turned out to be one of the most rewarding experiences ever. I've lost all the weight and have successfully kept it off for the past 4 years. I continue to maintain my weight but it's a constant struggle. Despite that, I think it was a worthwhile undertaking because it makes me happy to remain fit. I'll let you in on a little secret. My motivation to keep off the weight today is a size 4 skinny jeans which I keep in my closet as a constant reminder that I have a goal and that it is reachable because I have faith that my body and I can do it.

So, I haven't been updating as frequently because my schedule has a tendency to implode. I didn't even exercise at all this week. That being said, I've had a number of things going on which have prevented me from sticking to said schedule. BUT (and you know there's always a but) even though I have not exercised, and I even indulged a bit, I managed to lose yet another couple of pounds, which brought my total loss up to 142 pounds. I'm not trying to gloat here. What I'm trying to say, is that once you set your body on the right path, it will do it's thing. My metabolism is finally working properly, so that even if I mess up for a couple of days, there's a grace period, provided I don't push my luck. That means that I can have a treat maybe twice a week, but a piece of that ooey gooey yummy cocoa and cream cake is going to tip the scales if I eat it everyday. Despite the fact that Jane down the road can eat her face off and down a tub of Ben & Jerry's and still hover around 130 pounds, my body cannot handle that kind of treatment and will eventually explode to unmanageable proportions.

I think our bodies are well oiled machines; take care of them and they'll take care of you. Imagine a car that you drive hard, forget to change the oil, neglect to replace break pads, skip the engine flush, and don't bother with rust proofing. How much life do you think you will get out of that car, even if one day you decide to fix what is broken? The damage would have been done and the rust will have eaten through the break lines and the frame. Keep your body in tip top shape and it will drive you from point A to point B. Treat it with respect and it will provide you with the same courtesy. Okay, now that I've managed to say that with a straight face, let's move on.

I would like to give you some insight into the aftermath of the storm so to speak. Approximately 3 weeks into maintenance and after following a strict regimen where I am finally "free" (if that is what you want to call it) from the shackles of fatdom, I can tell you that it feels good to walk down the street and have no one give me the sympathy look. Seriously, it's so good to just blend in. I know people normally want to stand out, but I am so glad to just blend into the background. It's an incredibly comforting thought that I am now not special in that fat way.

What I find difficult and still a struggle is the fact that I have to constantly bridge the gap in my mind between what is healthy and unhealthy. I still have to talk myself into NOT eating an extra muffin, or that chocolate bar that's been hanging out in the cupboard for the last month. I have to coax and massage my mind to let go of the idea that it needs those chocolate chip pretzels also sitting in the cupboard (which happen to be right next to the chocolate bar - I tell ya, those things come with their own posse, and the powers of be are conspiring against me, and what is that stuff doing in my cupboard anyway and who bought it?) Surely, this is not what "skinny bitches" (because that's what many people call me nowadays; it's become a term of endearment at this point) think about all day. Ah yes, this is what fat people have to put up with, because I am still fat on the inside, and let me just say that I don't say fat with a negative connotation, but if you've been following this blog then you already know that I have no problem with the word fat. I just think it's accurate and also I'm a very busy and disjointed person with a self destructing schedule so I don't have time to type proper politically correct terms that all mean "fat" anyway.

Moving on, because I am still fat on the inside, I still hear whispers from the kitchen. That darn KitKat bar is calling out to me but I have to continuously dampen it's plea for me to come eat it until it's voice becomes background chatter. I have to tune it out like white noise, otherwise I'm just going to eat it and spoil my appetite which will prevent me from eating a good healthy bowl of green beans and roast chicken and then my life will spiral out of control and into a series of very miserable events that will cause the moon to split in half and the world to turn sideways which will lead me to shoot myself in the face (yes, I'm deranged, overworked and frazzled). Long story short, for now I am behaving and sticking to my plan of remaining healthy. I did it to become healthy and I want to stay healthy, so healthy it shall be. And now you'll have to excuse me because I have a function to go to this evening and there are people attending said function who are depending on me to make cupcakes.

The pros and cons of losing weight vary from one person to another, but there are some variables that remain constant. Some of the things I found interesting on my journey to lose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle...

- The only person who truly cares about your weight loss is you, because you are the harshest critic when it comes to judging yourself

- It takes an enormous amount of will, motivation, and discipline to lose over 100 pounds; that teaches you how to overcome some of your shortcomings, deal with your weaknesses, or even incorporate them into something productive

- Fear of failure is infinitely more powerful than the desire for success

- The guilt that comes with eating unhealthy foods will most likely stay with you for life, even after you reach your goal weight

- People fall into 3 groups; those who are truly happy for you, those who are jealous of your success, and those that want nothing to do with you after you lose weight

- The possibility that some family and friends will cut off communication with you to the bare minimum because you remind them of what they could not achieve or their failure to lose weight

- The identifying glance between fat people will become confusing to some because you look at them with a familiarity yet they see the slim you and don't understand why you are so friendly; they are used to being treated with disdain

- Eating a rich meal/dessert will taste good going down but will feel like shit within half an hour (making you swear off treats altogether)

- Before you lost weight you couldn't jog because you were too heavy and your joints would scream at you every time you tried; now that your weight is not an issue you still cannot jog because you have exercise induced asthma and you're supposed to walk instead of run... you just can't win

- It is possible to fit into a size Small after fitting into a size 4X for half your life

- How inspiring your success could be to those who also wish to lose weight even if it's jealousy or contempt that motivates them

- It takes a wonderful husband to constantly remind you of your success even if it's in the subtle statements he makes

- There will always be people who refuse to attribute success to all your hard work and instead are more comfortable believing that you are sick or have some disease that is causing you to lose weight

- You will end up wasting a lot of clothes, and there will be days when you won't want to go out because you literally have nothing to wear that does not fall off your waist (that includes underwear)

- Second hand clothing stores are possibly the best idea EVER

- Even your feet will lose weight and you will end up with footwear that might have been extremely uncomfortable in the past but is now part of your essential wardrobe

- Make no mistake, your bra size will change too, though that may not include the cup size which makes it infinitely more complicated to find a style that properly fits

- Being able to wake up in the morning without heartburn or lead-belly is a feeling that can't be beat, not even for chocolate lava cake

- You will go from absolutely dreading it to looking for opportunities to exercise (including the 20 minute walk in minus 1000 degree wind chill with a lame excuse like grabbing the mail)

- That you can still appreciate fat jokes (and ones about skinny people too)

Since losing weight I've had a lot of people compliment me on all my hard work. The majority of them believe that I lost the weight by banning all the foods I love and doing all the exercise I hate. They are often surprised when I mention how instrumental my dietitian was in helping me lose weight.

I've been told that perhaps I'm giving too much credit to my dietitian and not enough to myself for managing my weight loss. I have to stress that I don't think I could have lost that much weight without her help. A dietitian is someone who helps me create a balanced meal plan that is suitable for my body. She also helps me maintain my weight loss by motivating and encouraging me when I don't believe I can do it, or also keeping me from jumping off a cliff on those days when I'm adamant that it was the cupcake I had for my daughter's birthday that prevented me from losing an extra pound this week. Frequent weigh-ins with my dietitian keep me accountable to myself; to know that the weight loss is attributed to an effort I put in as opposed to sheer luck, and the weeks I gain weight are not necessarily a result of something I did. The visits help me stay focused on the positives. As a fat person I already give myself grief about my weight; I don't need a dietitian to do that for me. Similarly, I don't need someone to remind me that if I don't lose weight I could die from heart disease. That's the doctor's job (which he does very well).

I believe a good dietitian is a food therapist if you will. They're not interested in judging you or the choices you make, rather in helping you make better choices that will ultimately bring you closer to your desired goal. That includes, but is not limited to, giving you the freedom to eliminate foods you don't like, and eating the foods you do like, within reason, if those foods are not part of a healthy meal plan. Typical by-the-book dietitians are a lot like banks in that they put everyone in a series of buckets. You fit in bucket A, B or C; high risk, medium risk, or low risk investment. If you want something more tailored to suit your needs, then you may want to invest with an actual funds company that specializes in nothing but investments as opposed to a bank who offers homogenized investment opportunities. A by-the-book dietitian labels and puts you in one of those buckets because it's easier for them to do that than to customize a bucket just for you. A good dietitian is one who puts the effort into knowing you and your life style, and customizes an individual plan that will work for you. The difference between the two is subtle, but it's apparent in the little things they do and speaks volumes about their perception of fat people.

I have yet to see a fat dietitian. Most of the ones I know are skinny or average at most. So naturally, they lack the "fat perspective". Don't get me wrong, they know all about fat and what it does, but they have no clue of what it's like to go through life being fat. Fat people know they are fat; they are not in denial about it. There's a portion of the population who think fat people deliberately overeat, and don't care how they look. That may be true for some but not all of us. I have yet to meet a fat person that has not tried to lose weight in some way. Why do you think weight loss scams are so successful? It's because fat people know they are not accepted. They want to fit in and in doing so they try methods that may or may not be successful. Some of us like to eat just as there are some people who like to drink, gamble, or what have you. The difference is that as a society we have been trained to see beauty in skinny people, whereas a fat person resembles whatever we find repulsive.

Typical dietitians (or skinny ones) have not gone through life with the nickname porky, pudgy, or fatso. They were not teased about their weight on the playground and were not ridiculed by classmates in gym class - not for their weight. As adults they don't get the brush off at high end clothing stores, and unfriendly smirks in sporting goods stores. Indeed, I have lost over 115 pounds in the last year; I've gone down from a size 4X to a size Small, but I'm still fat on the inside. I identify very much with fat people and I still see skinny people as outsiders. I think like a fat person. I still go into stores and subconsciously end up at the plus size section even though nothing fits me there any more. I still like the styles targeted towards fat people. It's nauseating when I walk into the high end clothing stores nowadays, to see the very same clerks who brushed me off 6 months ago swarming all around me to sell me something that not's even full price but rather a clearance item, so it's not a commission related thing. That is what I find repulsive. The fact that I couldn't get a clerk to even notice me when I walked into the store 6 months ago, or the ones that look me up and down and then say they'll be right there, and the striking difference in their treatment when I walked into the same store last week and saw the same clerk who greeted me with a big smile and even complimented me on my choice of outfit; it's astounding. That's the treatment I was accustomed to for the last 20 years of my life. As a result, I tend to pick up on those little involuntary yet derogatory gestures. I get it at most places, and sometimes I even expect it, but not at the dietitian's office. It's my safe haven; it's the place where I can safely admit that I am fat, that I don't like being fat, and that I want to change it. It's the last place I would expect to feel judged. If you feel judged at the dietitian's office, then someone let you down. If your dietitian judges you then they have failed you and themselves.

My relationship with dietitians and nutritionists in the past has been rocky. I've been told what foods I should eat and which ones I should not eat - should being the keyword. A good dietitian does not should all over you, rather suggests that you avoid certain foods, not all the time, but most of the time. I've seen moderate dietitians, and some really horrible ones. I can't recall the number of times, for example, that I've been told I have to eat cottage cheese for breakfast, despite alerting the dietitian to the fact that I would rather eat a bullet then put cottage cheese in my mouth. When a dietitian lumps you into one of the usual categories for fat people, they are inadvertently telling you that they don't really care about your health or the effort you are making to maintain a healthy lifestyle, because by limiting your options they ensure that you will not be able to maintain healthy eating habits. It's unrealistic to expect someone to eat a food they hate everyday. A good dietitian knows that. By the same token, it's unrealistic to expect someone to give up a favourite food forever. Telling some one who eats a cupcake everyday that they cannot have them any more is ridiculous, and guarantees that this person will never be able to maintain a healthy lifestyle. A black and white approach to food is not conducive to any kind of change let alone a positive one. A good dietitian is flexible and understands the value of compromise. Instead of having a cupcake once everyday, we can start by limiting cupcakes to 2 times a week and take it from there. The goal of both you and your dietitian is to create and maintain a healthy lifestyle without adding stress. It's those little things that to anyone else come across as insignificant but what it tells you is that the dietitian actually cares about helping you achieve your goal and is not simply labelling you to fit into some pre-set notion of what others think you should be.

I guess in a nutshell I would say that the difference between a dietitian and a good dietitian, is that the former treats you like a patient, whereas the latter treats you like a customer.

Before I go on about today's rant to demonstrate why so many people are reluctant to see a dietitian, I would like to respond to the many people who asked about my diet plan. I do not follow any special "diet". I think all diets are fads, and fail eventually. What I've done is essentially a lifestyle change. I incorporated a healthy meal plan along with exercise, and the additional guidance of a dietitian. Basically, I limit sugar, fat and sodium intake, increase my exercise to 4 or 5 times a week, and my dietitian helps me do that. This is not something I am doing just to lose the weight, but rather a shift or change in behaviour that I hope will remain with me for the rest of my life. 

Many people have asked me for the 'recipe' or secret method to my weight loss. I don't have one and don't know of any one method but what I do know is this. There is a reason why weight loss programs don't work the same for everyone. Successful weight loss programs often incorporate proper diet and exercise and more importantly guidance and accountability. I believe that a good dietitian is essential to successful weight loss. Not any dietitian; it has to be someone you like and get along with. If you do not like your dietitian you will resent the appointments and the weigh ins, and his/her advice will fall on deaf ears. I like my dietitian; I trust her advice and I appreciate her help very much. Open communication and a certain social chemistry is necessary to achieve your goal weight and more importantly, to feel healthy and happy. This week I was confronted with this reality. My dietitian was out sick with a cold, so to keep the schedule running smoothly, her office typically gets another dietitian to fill in while she's gone. This was the third time I saw someone other than her. The other times she was away, I saw a really nice lady who was equally professional. Unfortunately, this week, I saw a different person who was not too nice (which I think represents the majority of dietitians I've met during my never ending cycle of trying to lose weight). Where do I start?

The first thing I noticed and which caught me off guard was how rude she was. She cut me off mid sentence, several times. It seemed she was not interested in how I was really doing or what I had to say. She just wanted to hear herself speak.

She also provided unsolicited advice. She suggested (and I'm using this word liberally here) that I change some aspects of my diet because she does not think it will work. For example, she rhetorically asked "Can you eat some other fruit, because bananas have too much natural sugars in them and I typically don't recommend them to my patients any more than 3 times a week". She made two mistakes; a) she assumed I'm a typical patient which implied that she did not even look in my file to learn that in less than a year I have lost over 100 pounds, all the while eating bananas more than 3 times a week and b) she provided advice that indirectly undermined the expertise of my original dietitian; very unprofessional. She insisted she was right even though I mentioned that my dietitian never brought this up as it was never an issue and I have been losing weight steadily despite eating bananas more than 3 times a week sometimes.

I was offended by her condescending attitude. She complained about my meal plan and what she perceived as a lack of variety. Instead of asking me if I'm okay with the recipes or foods that I am eating, she arrogantly asked if I see myself following this meal plan for the rest of my life because she was concerned about the "lack of variety". When I confirmed yes, she insisted that "some people just do this until they lose weight and then they go back to eating unhealthy" implying that I'm going to be one of those people. I had to bite my tongue and politely explain to her that I do all my meals in advance and that as long as I like something, I don't have a problem eating it several times a week. I also explained that due to family history and other health issues, I am well aware of lifestyle changes and that I have no intention of going back to unhealthy habits. I did not think I had to explain myself to her and I felt like it was more of an interrogation as opposed to a discussion. I was offended.

She was unprofessional at best. She hadn't read my file and was not interested until I told her that I lost over 100 pounds. She was surprised and congratulated me but did not seem very genuine. This was confirmed later as I left the office. On my way out, I spoke to the receptionist. I advised her that my husband is interested in registering with my dietitian because he is impressed by how much weight I lost and he's looking to lose some too. I explained that he wants to see the same person I see. At that point, the dietitian interjected and stated with an exasperated tone that he can see her and that she's "had patients who lost over 100 pounds too". Clearly, she was interested in neither me nor my husband, but rather in her own image and how she appeared around the office. It was fairly obvious to me that she was resentful of my original dietitian. I don't really care about all that; it's office politics. However, it should not be apparent to the customer. It reflects badly on the entire organization.

In short, that dietitian had nothing good to say, complained about my eating habits and in general made a bad impression. I felt that she spoke down to me. I left the appointment feeling negative and completely unmotivated. If she was my dietitian I would not have lost all the weight I did. I shudder to think of how she makes others who have not had as much success as I've had feel. If I were part of upper management, I would make sure she goes nowhere near people. She is best served in a back office somewhere doing redundant paperwork. That's about all her brain can handle.

Though on the upside, it takes skill to be this ineffective at your job, and she's got it.